How To Save A Life
by hilarie3
Summary: Lucas and Peyton broke up, and became the people they swore they'd never be. Is it too late to become the people they once were, and have the life they both dream of. LP
1. Ghost Of You And Me

Chapter 1

At the first hint of sunrise Lucas Scott woke. Can never get a good night's sleep in this city, he thought to himself. He'd arrived in LA the night before and finally collapsed into his bed at around 2 o clock in the morning. There had been a mix up with hotel arrangements. His agent had booked a room at the Beverley Hilton but he couldn't stay there. That hotel held too many painful memories, one room in particular held too many painful memories.

"_Peyton, I love you, and I want us to be together forever-"_

"_Luke wait" She placed her hands around the box that he was holding. "Okay"_

"_Look I know this is a bit sudden, okay?" He interrupted her. "But, you know, yesterday was a great day. And I'm sitting on the bus and I realise that none of my great days in my life matter without you. You're the one I want next to me when my dreams come true and you're the one I want next to me if they don't. As long as I have you nothing else matters."_

"_There's...It's just not as simple as all of that, okay?" She rose from her chair walking to the door, for a moment he grimaced, wondering if she was rejecting him Was she leaving him? Was she saying no? He put that thought to the back of his mind as she turned back to him. She looked almost scared. He stood to meet her. " There's a lot we have to talk about."_

"_I know but we'll figure out the details when we get back to Tree Hill" he reassured her._

"_Okay. I know that's home for you. And I miss it sometimes, I do. But for me, Tree Hill is two dead moms and a physco-stalker and some really painful memories. You know I actually had to move out to Hollywood to get away from all the drama. So right now this is my home and the only thing that's missing is you."_

"_Then I'll move here" He approached her as he spoke. He would do anything for them to be together. He could understand her reluctance to move back home. She had been through more than most people experience in a life time in that small town. He was sure eventually he could convince her that it was right that they return home._

"_Luke. Honey, Whitey believes in you and Nathan needs you. And if I ask you to walk away from you dream, you're going to wake up one day and resent me for it. The same way I would feel if you asked me to leave LA."_

"_Peyton... You...You get people coffee and deliver mail. You were doing more than that in Tree Hill." He knew those words hurt her. Earlier in the evening she had spoken with such enthusiasm and hope about her job. She believed it would lead her to achieve her dreams .He watched as looked to the floor._

"_Well... I love you for believing that but I have to prove that to myself. I mean...You see that's the thing. We both have so much we want to do with our lives and we're only 19."_

"_And Nathan and Hayly were a lot younger than that" he retorted. Why was she so set against this? Why did it have to be one or the other?_

"_Okay. Well we see how easy that's been." He stared at her blankly, letting her words ink in. She wasn't choosing him. "Come on. In another year."_

_He turned away from her unsure what to say. "Peyton. We've seen each other 3 times in the last year. We go days without talking, we trade a few emails, we've already grown so far apart. Who knows where we'll be a year from now" _

"_Luke if you can't trust that our love can make it one year. I don't understand how we can be talking about forever right now." He looked at her, staring into her green eyes and for the first time, he couldn't understand her._

"_You're saying no." The girl he loved didn't love him back. She didn't want him the same way he wanted her. She didn't need him like he needed her. She was saying to know spending the rest of the lives together. She said she needed a year to find her dreams. She was his dream._

"_No." He sat down on the bed, knowing that any moment know his legs would just give in. She sat down next to him taking his arm. "Wait. I'm not saying no. I'm saying not now. I want to marry you someday."_

_Someday. He knew what someday meant: it meant settling for him. She'd settle for him someday. He pulled away. Peyton was his everything. She wasn't someone who he'd marry someday. Someday, he almost choked. He pulled away from her._

"_Hey. Don't .Don't do that. Don't pull away from me. I want us to be together. I love you so much."_

"_Just not enough." He looked at the anguish on her face, he was sure he mirrored it._

"_Oh god. Can we take this back. Can we pretend like you never woke up. Please."_

"_I don't think we can" He wasn't sure he could be with someone who didn't see him as their future. _

"_I'm afraid that this conversation is going to end with-"_

"_Goodbye" he finished for her._

"_Oh Luke. Don't. Come here." She pushed him back so they both lay on the bed. He head on his shoulder and her hair resting against his neck. He tried to remember the last time he'd felt so helpless and safe all at the same time. "Our dreams are going to come true, Lucas. My music and your novel. It's going to happen, I know it."_

_As Lucas lay there he felt that his dream was dying and struggled to hold back the tears. She eventually fell asleep. He lay there for hours watching her sleep, memorizing her. As the sun began to rise he removed himself from the bed. Before he left, he placed one last kiss on her forehead and left the CD she had made him on the pillow. Then he walked out on Peyton Sawyer, the girl he was doomed to love forever._

He'd often wondered how she'd woken up. Had she looked for him? She knew she hadn't tried calling that morning. He'd kept his phone on but there was no call from her. No message. They had only spoken once since. He had invited her to his book signing in LA. He had wanted to tell her he'd made a mistake. That he would wait forever. To apologise, for not being patient. He still loved her. Everytime the door had opened he had looked for her but she hadn't shown up. That was his last visit to LA almost three years ago. It had been just as painful as the previous. It was then he'd realised what he'd lost and resigned himself to the fact he'd never get it back.

_xxxxx_

"Are you going to behave tonight?" Peyton ignored him; instead she chose to focus on her reflection in the mirror behind Tony. God I look like crap, she thought to herself. A small smile crept across her face as she wondered what Brooke would think if she saw Peyton's attire. She and Brooke Davis had been best friends since they were 8. They hadn't really been as close over the last few years. Peyton knew they now belonged to different worlds. She had seen Brooke's fashion magazine and knew it was only a small proportion of the success her friend had achieved. Brooke Davis had changed the world, Brooke Davis had succeeded. Peyton had failed and had lost everything. She wasn't willing to lose the perception of her that Brooke had. She couldn't survive Brooke knowing the person she was now.

"Are you listening to me? Do you understand me, Peyton? Don't pull any shit tonight. I owe this guy money." She looked back to him, standing in front of his desk in his tiny office at the back of the club.

"Then maybe you should sleep with him." Before she could take it back, she felt the back of his hand smack across her face and the familiar taste of blood on her lip. She stepped back wiping away the blood and went to turn and leave the room. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back towards him. She could feel his breath on her neck. Then he began to place kisses on her shoulder. She didn't try to struggle free of his grip. She knew better than that. She could control her body. It was her mouth she couldn't control and it frequently got her into trouble.

"Peyton. Don't try anything tonight. Just do your job and then I'll look after you."

"Could you look after me now?" She smiled at him, knowing that he would soon realise what she was suggesting. She turned to face him, laying her hands on his chest. "I need-"

"Peyton, don't I always look after you? Just promise me you'll be good." He walked away from her and began looking for something in his desk.

"I'll be good"

He tossed her the vial and sat down at his desk. She placed it safely in her bag and walked out slamming the door behind her.


	2. Can't Say

Chapter 2

Peyton slowly slipped out of the motel room, grabbing the cash that had been left on the bed side locker before she left. It was early morning and the streets were just beginning to vibrate with people. She loved LA at this time. She decided to walk the long distance home. It wasn't as if she could afford the luxury of a taxi, even with what she had in her purse. Eventually she reached the nice part of town, walking along the streets which housed all the designer labels. She looked inside the windows of the shops as she passed, looking at the expensive clothing that she could never afford. Once upon a time it had bothered her but not anymore she had more important things to worry about. She stopped at the local supermarket and bought some food.

She reached her apartment and slowly entered. The place was a mess, it always was. She moved quietly into the kitchen unpacking what she'd bought.

"Peyton, I'll be going." She looked up to see Claire standing across from her.

"Thanks. Here's your money." Peyton handed her the money she owed and watched as the girl left. She made her way through the mess into her bedroom and stood by the crib. There sleeping was her life. Her saviour, Anna Sawyer. She was sleeping soundly as she always did. Peyton moved coving the child with the blankets she'd kicked off during the night.

"Hey Baby, Momma's home now." She cooed quietly and watched as her girl slightly turned, before taking her thumb into her mouth. Peyton watched and smiled down at the baby. She was disturbed from her trance a few minutes later when noise erupted from the apartment just above her. She was used to it by now. Her apartment block must have contained some of the craziest people in the city. Every night some kind of shouting match would break out in one of her neighbour's apartment. She was thankful that Anna was a solid sleeper most of the time.

Lucas rushed out of the building, glad that his meeting with another publisher was finished. No one was interested in his newest piece of work. He was barely interested in it. Writing hadn't bought him the same sense of accomplishment it once had. These meetings were just a formality. He would write a soulless novel about this and that. They would meet with him hoping it would be the follow up to An Unkindness Of Ravens. Then it would be rejected and he would go home. He made his way back to his hotel, through the bustling streets. LA was too loud for him and every noise just added to his growing irritation with the city. He was only a couple of blocks from his hotel, when he noticed a small bar already open. He glanced at his watch, it was pretty early but he didn't care. There was no Haley or Lindsay here to keep an eye on him. He could do what he wanted and in that moment he wanted a drink. After the tiresome meeting he'd been forced to endure, he deserved it.

He strode purposefully into the bar; there was a lone bartender and one old man already sat proudly up at the bar. He took a seat and ordered a scotch. Time flew by and the bar began to fill. A red head across the bar began to check him out; he downed his current drink and made his way over.

"Mind if I buy you a drink."

20 minutes later and he was haling them a cab, she said she lived near by and he wasn't going to suggest his hotel room. Lindsay had booked it. The two of them stumbled into the taxi and he paid the driver, while she told him the address. He wasn't concerned when they pulled up to a pretty rough looking apartment block, he could slum it for one night.

He woke up the next morning nursing a sore head and quickly threw on his clothes. The girl, her name wouldn't come to him, was still fast asleep. He made his way out of the apartment and onto the landing. The must have been at least six floors up. He cursed his luck and wondered how he'd climbed those stairs the night before. It wasn't that he wasn't fit but he knew his pounding head wouldn't enjoy the repetitiveness of the staircase. He must have been about three floors down when a pram suddenly flew out of one of the doors. He stopped just before clattering into it.

"Sorry." He would have recognised it anywhere.

"Peyton."

"Lucas"

He moved to look into the apartment and there she was standing behind the pram. He stopped himself right there. Peyton Sawyer was standing behind a pram, holding a baby. She'd had a baby. She'd had another mans baby.

"Hi." He choked out. He could smell her now. Her scent was still the same.

"How are you?"

"I'm good. Do you want me to help you down the stairs with that?" He asked. She nodded and locked the door behind her. Together they lifted the pram down the stairs until they were onto the street. "That must be hard to do everyday."

"Um.. yeah. You helped today though. So what are you doing here?"

"I had a meeting with publishers about my latest novel."

"That's good. I'm glad you're doing well." She smiled. He couldn't help but think how beautiful she still was. "Although I'm pretty sure there are no publishers in my building."

"Oh I..I was.." he didn't understand why he felt so guilty. He never felt guilty about his behaviour before. In fact he was pretty sure when Lindsay's inevitable phone call came, he would just lie.

"Let me guess, red head, a few floors up." He blushed, but couldn't help but feel satisfied when he saw her force herself to smile. "Don't worry, Sarah's nice, you won't have to worry about any stalker behaviour from her."

"Good, I think we've had enough stalkers for one day." He laughed as they began to walk down the street.

Peyton watched as Lucas pushed Anna on the baby swings in the park. In all her wildest dreams she'd never seen anything as beautiful as what was before her now. Lucas Scott was in LA playing with her daughter in the park. It was mid afternoon, and the place was pretty busy. She was pretty sure this was real. It had to be real. She'd expected him to leave pretty quickly but when she'd mentioned them going to the park. He said he had nothing on and would like to come. She couldn't say no, she never could.

They'd discussed everything from the weather to Nathan's accident. Although they'd avoided the crucial subject: themselves. Lucas was currently trying to publish a second novel and his girlfriend Lindsay was sending it off to as many publishers as possible. She couldn't help but feel jealous as he spoke of her, even if it was only briefly. Then again she'd caught him coming out of another women's apartment ho serious could they be. She wanted to slap herself for having these thoughts.

"Lucas, careful." She called, as he took Anna out of the swing and held her high in the sky.

"I am being careful. Look she likes it." Lucas said, before placing her back in Peyton's old pram. Anna was smiling and reaching out for Lucas. "And I think she likes me. She's beautiful Peyton."

"Thanks." Peyton nodded, as she packed up Anna's things in preparation to leave. She handed Lucas his jacket which he'd removed to play with Anna. "We have to get going. Today was nice."

"Yes, it was." Lucas said. "Peyton I've missed you."

"Lucas-"

"No let me say this. I've missed you everyday we've been apart. And I've tried to get over you. But nothing matters anymore. I've become a shell of myself and today for the first time in ages I've felt like me again. I didn't have to go to some bar and drown my sorrows. Peyton, I still love you." She couldn't stop him, as he moved and grabbed her shoulders, his intense gaze burning a hole in her heart.

"Lucas, I'm not that girl anymore. You have a girlfriend and I have a daughter. I caught you coming out of random apartment, and I'm not a saint. We aren't Luke and Peyton anymore. I'm sorry I can't do this again." She walked away, fighting the tears in her eyes. She loved the boy who stood motionless before her. She just knew they could never be: she wasn't the girl he loved. She hadn't been that girl in years.


	3. Finding Light

_O__nce you lose yourself, you have two choices: Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely because sometimes you have to step outside of the person you've been and remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be. The person you are._

Lucas looked up from his laptop, as the door to his bedroom opened. He'd been glued to his desk since he'd arrived home from L.A. Peyton had once again rejected him but somehow he wasn't feeling lost. Instead a wave of hope and inspiration was coursing through his veins. He had been typing furiously since he'd arrived home. He remembered the feeling from his first novel and knew it was no coincidence. It was her: Peyton Sawyer. One day with her and his world had fallen back into place.

She'd rejected him but he'd seen nothing but love in her eyes. They'd never needed words. There connection was far deeper than that. They could have conversation at opposite sides of a room, with stolen glances and loving eyes. He was choosing to believe his heart and everything it was saying. She believed they were no longer those people but they had been. He had been the man he wanted to be, in L.A with her. With her he was the best version of himself, without her he was nothing. He just had to be that man again and prove to her he could be the Lucas Scott she fell in love with and not the selfish man he had become.

"Luke?" He looked up to see Lindsay standing in the doorway, a baffled look on her face. "Your writing?"

He felt a stab of guilt as he noticed her excitement about his new found enthusiasm to write. He'd forgotten about her momentarily, the women he shared his home with. The women he lied to. She deserved better. She'd fallen in love with the Lucas in the book and had loyally stuck around as that man had disappeared. Lucas had let her; out of a fear of being alone.

"Yeah?" He said, standing up, wondering how to explain his thoughts. "I'm writing again."

"I can see. I'm glad your inspired babe. Must have been a good trip." He wished she wouldn't be so nice.

"Lindsay I'm sorry. I don't think this is going to work out." He knew it was blunt and rude. But she'd never leave him. Their entire relationship proved that; her loyalty was unquestionable and he loved her for that. He loved her but he was not in love with her.

"What?"

"In LA I met someone." He tried to explain.

"You cheated on me?" She asked a look of disbelief across her face. And for the first time he regretted his countless one night stands with other women. She honestly had no idea. She was outraged at the prospect. If only she knew. He didn't view the one night stands as cheating, he felt nothing for those women, it was his desire to be needed in the most intimate way that drove him to it. The day he spent with Peyton was cheating just not in the traditional sense. It meant something to him; it meant everything.

"It was Peyton."

"You cheated on me with your ex-girlfriend. That girl really can't let you be with anyone else can she?" Lindsay said the bitterness in her voice apparent. "Does she not understand that when someones in a relationship you back off? I can understand it in high school but now it's obvious she's just a whore"

"It wasn't like that. Do not talk about her like that?" Lucas shouted. He wasn't going to have her blame Peyton. Their relationship had been dead since its conception. "We didn't… she wouldn't…."

"But you would. Jesus, Lucas what is it about this girl?"

"I love her." He said softly, he watched as Lindsay wiped away her tears and was motionless as she grabbed a bag throwing her belongings into it. When she slammed the door as she left, he returned to his desk and typed furiously. For the next few days his work consumed him. He only took breaks to eat and go to the toilet, and survived on the minimum amount of sleep. He always had the same dreams, of Peyton and Anna. She was his child and they were living the fairy tale life.

He was approaching the fifth day of this new way of life when his door swung open and in marched Haley. He could tell instantly she was pissed. He knew she'd left countless messages before he'd eventually turned his phone off.

"Lucas Eugene Scott!" She roared, he looked up from the screen of his laptop bracing himself for the inevitable lecture. "I just rang Lindsay and she seems to think you've broken up. Now as your best friend I expected you might mention it."

"I've been busy."

"I can see and smell that. Seriously Lucas it smells like something died in here." Haley observed as she began to clean up the mess that had built up. "What is going on with you?"

"I just have to finish this." Lucas said returning to his work.

"And Lindsay?"

"We're finished."

"That's it. You're finished just like that."

"I don't love her. I settled for her. I'm not going to settle anymore."

"Nice Lucas, real nice. I hope to God you weren't that blunt to her because she deserved better."

"I told her the truth. My heart belongs to someone else." He looked up briefly to see her reaction. She just stared back at him. "I found her Haley and I'm going to win her back."

"Lucas." Haley sighed. They both knew who they were talking about. The only girl could exercise this kind of power over Lucas. "What happened?"

"I'm still in love with her Haley."

"Lucas you were only in L.A for a few days."

"I know this sounds crazy. It is crazy but the time I spent with her it's the happiest I've been. I just have to show her we could be great again…"

"And you think hibernating is the way to do it."

"I'm going to get her back Hales, you'll see."

_It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty, meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them. But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him__._

Peyton paced up and down her small apartment, trying her best to sooth her daughters cries. It was no use. Anna was in a foul mood; the worst Peyton could remember. Nothing could sooth her. She walked up and down the room, the streets still busy in the early hours of the morning. Their noise only adding to Anna's irritation. It was four in the morning and Peyton was in desperate need of some sleep. She'd got back from work at around 1 and relieved her baby sitter. Anna had been crying when she'd arrived and hadn't stopped since.

"Sssh, there, there baby girl….Mama's here…sssh." Peyton said rocking her softly trying desperate to quiet the deafening roars. This wasn't like Anna at all. She usually so perfect and slept so soundly. Now she was irritated beyond belief and Peyton had no idea what she wanted. The girl who watched her merely said: and so it begins, look forward to the next few years. Then she'd left with a smirk. Peyton wanted to slap her but didn't, the girl was reliable and relatively cheap. She needed someone to watch Anna while she worked.

"Come on, Mama needs to go to sleep…." She cooed but it was no use and she watched as time slowly ticked by. Anna's voice never wavering but constant. Eventually Peyton gave up trying to hold her and calm her and rested her back into the crib. She hoped this would just be one night.

The following three days were exactly the same. There was nothing Peyton could do. She bought Anna to the doctors, who examined her and concluded there was nothing wrong. She was just suffering with a cold. Peyton was livid when they charged her for the appointment. They hadn't done anything and had taken most of her wages. She returned home with barely any money and her daughter still crying. She put her to bed in the hope she'd sleep just for a few hours. She stumbled into bed herself, trying desperately to block out Anna's cries. Eventually she couldn't take anymore and she wiped away her own tears and got out of bed. Her legs aching and her head spinning.

"It's okay….Mama's here. Come on baby…sssh it's going to be okay." This only seemed to enrage her "Please sssh…come on…I don't know what's wrong….please stop crying"

It was no use, eventually Anna's mood subsided but she still cried more than Peyton could remember. As is she was missing something; craving something that Peyton couldn't provide. Anna had been her saviour, now she was struggling to cope with the demands being placed upon her. Every night was turning into a constant battle.

"Jesus Sawyer you look like shit." Rick laughed as she made her way into his office.

"Just give me what you owe me." She snapped. She needed to get home.

"I will just tell me what's going on."

"You want to know what's going on."

"Damm straight I do. You look like shit. No one wants to fuck shit."

"Fuck you." She snapped. She turned to walk out the door, but he quickly moved to grab her wrist, stopping her from leaving.

"I just want to help." He pulled her back towards him. She looked up, for a moment expecting to see blue but all she saw were his brown hardened eyes glaring back at her. She cursed herself for thinking of Lucas and quickly put him to the back of her mind where he belonged. "Let me help you out and then you can help me."

She watched as he returned to his desk leaving her standing alone in the middle of the small room. She was shaking and she didn't know when it had started. He rummaged for something and soon found it. He returned to her, hiding what he had in a fist.

"I always look after you, Peyton. I'm the only one who knows how. Now go clean that pretty face and come back in a few minutes." He opened the palm of his hand showing her the small bag of cocaine. She wasn't sure when her need for it had surfaced. At first it had just been to get her through work. It numbed the pain. It made the huge weight in her head go away. When she'd found out about Anna she'd stopped and it had worked. Then she'd gone back to work and slowly it had crept back. She knew it was wrong. She had a child. A beautiful girl but she also had a constant throbbing head ache. This would get it to go away just for one night. One night.

**Sorry for the delay. I just had to have a think about where I wanted this to go. Okay so I know it's a bit confusing but that scene with Peyton happens around the same time as this visit to LA. Its just to show whats going on in her life. As you can see she's been lured into a bad place. Lucas's random hook up was just to show that he too has lost his way since loosing Peyton. He's not perfect either; with out her in his life he is the worst possible version of himself.**

**Anyway I promise some regular updates for you all. Thanks so much for the reviews. Keep coming with the questions I don't mind.**


	4. With Arms Outstretched

**Chapter 4**

"Lucas, what are you doing?"

"I'm packing I have a meeting with my publisher. I'm flying out to L.A today." Lucas said as he tossed his clothes into his bag.

"Lucas, your publisher is in New York." Haley said, looking at him worriedly.

"No it used to be. I've got a new one, and I'm flying out to meet wit with them about my book." Since Lindsay's departure, he'd severed all ties with his old publishing firms in New York. The editors she'd set him up with in L.A were also oblivious but he had been relentless. Eventually someone had agreed to see him. It hadn't surprised him that they'd liked it. This was the follow up to An Unkindness of Ravens. This was his second book about Peyton Sawyer.

"What book?" He looked up startled by the question. What book?

"The one I've been writing for the last year. Remember?"

"I remember that you've holed yourself up in this room. I thought you were getting back on track." Haley paused, for a second as if stopping herself from saying something. He knew what she was thinking. "Lucas…I know what's in L.A"

"So do I." He replied before standing and facing Haley. "I know I'm confusing the hell out of you but I'm okay. I just can't waste time trying to explain. Here read this and you'll understand."

"Lucas?" She took the draft of the book from him. "The comet?"

"I can't waste anytime. This book explains it all. I have to show it to Peyton." He zipped up his bag and grabbed his suit bag, before looking around the room. "Haley I know your worried about me. Don't be. For the first time in a long time I'm seeing things clearly."

"Have you spoken to her?" the question caught him off guard.

"No. I tried calling but she's not listed and I couldn't find anything about her on line." He had tried to contact her. To tell her about the changes he was making. In the past year he'd found himself again. He'd found the man he wanted to be. He was coaching the Ravens, being a good uncle and friend. He was no longer in a relationship. He'd once again found the inspiration to go after his dreams and in doing that he realised what they were. "Haley…she doesn't want to talk to me yet but I'm going to fight for her. This time I won't walk away."

The flight to L.A seemed to take an eternity and his excitement as he got off the plane was almost uncontainable. He bounded through the airport and quickly hailed a cab. The meeting with the publishers went well and he signed what ever they needed. The only thing he refused was there cover art. The wanted a comet. He already had the picture he wanted.

Peyton picked up the clothes that lay scattered around the floor, throwing them into her closet. Anna sat playing on the floor, freshly changed. Peyton needed her to stay that way. For a second she looked up to the heavens. She's never been one for God. Today though she needed help. She just needed that perfect day, for things to go her way just once. She checked herself in the mirror. Her hair was tied back and she wore a casual t shirt and jeans. She'd debated make up before realising it might make her look like she was working. She didn't need that lecture.

Then out of the corner of her eyes she saw it: her bag. She wondered if they'd check her bags. Surely that was a violation of some rights but if she refused they'd think she was hiding something. She shouted out in frustration before grabbing her bag and throwing it under the kitchen sink and hiding it behind a few bottles. Finally satisfied she returned her attention to Anna, who'd crawled over to her.

"Hey baby. You ready….yeah I'm ready to. Okay we have to be good today….could you do that for me. It would really help me out." She stood up and carried Anna back over to her toys. "Here we go….just stay here and play okay."

Peyton went and sat on the couch, nervously she watched Anna. She was on the edge of her seat and couldn't help but holds her hands together almost as if she was praying. She rested her forehead against them, closing her eyes, trying in vain to calm her self. She was pretty sure she was sweating and her leg was shaking uncontrollably. She only opened her eyes when Anna called out, demanding her attention with a gurgle. She smiled down at her and watched as she played with the most pathetic bunch of toys. Anna didn't seem to mind though and it broke Peyton's heart that she didn't know any better.

When she watched Anna like this she often wondered how she'd ended up in this position.

Once upon a time she'd had a future and there was nothing she could do to forget it. The job at a major label and a nice apartment had all disappeared four years ago. Emotionally unstable was what they'd called her, when she'd broken down in the mail room one day. They'd fired her soon after. The lack of income had lost the apartment. She was supposedly destined for greatness and yet here she was dragging her daughter down.

"Ba!"

"Ball" Peyton smiled back. Anna looked up at her, a puzzled look appearing. Peyton realised then she was crying. She wiped away the tear quickly and walked over to the mirror to see her reflection. She hung her head before looking back at Anna, who smiled up at her "At least one of us looks good."

She was about to sit down, when she heard a knock at the door. She checked the room once more and opened the door. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting but the last thing she expected was Lucas Scott to be standing in the hall way.

"Peyton!" He smiled, coming forward. She didn't open the door and he recoiled but only slightly. She glared at him, not needing this. "Hi….um I know it's been a while."

"It has and if your looking for a quick fuck. I'd suggest you go upstairs like you did last time." She snapped.

"Peyton" He sighed almost smiling. She wasn't sure why he was smiling at her. "I'm her to see you."

"Well my schedule's busy. Give my secretary a ring." She went to close the door in his face but he stopped her, leaning through the door. He was too strong and she walked back into the apartment, leaving the door a jar. She didn't look but she knew he'd entered and could sense him hovering at her door. "What do you want Luke?"

"I want to talk and I have something to show you. I also have a present for Anna, if that's okay." She bit her lip and nodded her approval. He walked over to Anna, who smiled back up at him and reached out for him to lift her. "Hey Anna. You've grown…remember me…yeah…look what I've got you."

She watched as he pulled out a small horse teddy. He turned back to Peyton obviously wanting some response to the pink horse. She just looked out the window, fully aware he knew she had been watching.

"Ba!" She turned back just as Anna discarded the toy and went back to her ball. Peyton managed to stifle a laugh at the disappointment that swept across Lucas's face. "Ba!"

"Definitely your mothers daughter." Lucas mused before standing to look at Peyton. For a moment they just stood there watching each other. Peyton noticed that he looked better, his face had a colour and his eyes were as always burning her. She looked to the floor. "How have you been?"

"Peachy."

"Good." He moved towards her, reaching his hand to her chin and forcing her to look at him. She hated that he could still do this to her. "I've missed you."

"You need to go." She pushed his hand away, breaking the eye contact.

"Peyt, I need to talk to you."

"Not now. I can't do this Lucas."

"Please"

"No! Now get out."

"I need you to see something." He walked over to his bag and pulled out a stack of papers. "It's my new book."

"Great, now I've seen it will you go." She took the book and head toward her door, opening it and motioning for him to leave.

"I want you to read it." He said standing firm in the centre of the room.

"Sure because it's not like I have a life. I've just spent the lat few years waiting for this moment-"

"I have."

"Well I've moved on and I told you to as well. Go back to your life Luke, please." She sighed, unaware that those last two words had just convinced Lucas that he needed to stay.

"Promise me, you'll read it."

"Lucas, I need you to go."

"Not until I know your going to read it."

"Fine I'll read it." She knew he could be stubborn when he wanted to be. "Will you go now."

"Expecting someone?"

"Yes, I am." She noticed how that fact seemed to wound him. Then he looked to Anna and knelt down to her level.

"Bye bye princess. Make sure your Mom reads that book okay."

"Ba!" She held out the ball, and Lucas gladly accepted it and bounced it softly in front of her. He caught it in air his large hand covering it. As he snatched it away his fist covered it.

"Where'd it go?" Lucas looking behind him and underneath the couch. He then looked at Anna, squinting his eyes in the way only he could. "You!"

He reached his hand behind her, tickling her before pulling his hand away so she could see the ball in it. Anna burst out laughing and Peyton smiled at the two of them, wondering how often she'd seen Anna like that. There was no doubt in her mind Lucas was a natural. She'd always known he'd make a great father. She was startled when she heard the door creak open behind her, ruining the scene before her.

"Miss Sawyer?"

**Hi guys. hope the story is becoming clearer. Lucas is in LA again, determined to win back Peyton. He's spent almost a year getting this book ready. He's sorted himself out and is back to the Lucas we all love (ie Lucas season 1-3, well thats when I liked him and some of season 4). Peytons a mess though. She loves her daughter but sometimes love isn't enough. I love writing her destructive self. LOL**

**Enjoy and Review. **

**WEDDING 2NITE. IM FROM IRELAND AND IM JUST GOING TO STAY UP AND WATCH ONLINE. YES IM THAT MUCH OF A LOSER. IM OBSESSED WHAT CAN I SAY. AND I LOVE PEYTON SAWYER. HOPING TO GOD SHE'LL HAVE A GOOD DAY. IV ABSOLUTLY HATED THIS SEASON WHEN THEY'VE MADE HER A LUCAS PROP. IN THE LAST FEW EPISODES I THINK SHES BEEN ACE. (CANT BELIEVE I JUST SAID ACE). I NEARLY CRIED WATCHING HER MAKE THAT VIDEO. AND HILARIE BURTON IS SO MY GIRL CRUSH. DON'T LIE WE ALL HAVE ONE.**


	5. Don't Let Me Go

"Miss Sawyer?" Lucas looked up from Anna to see a women standing in the doorway behind Peyton. He noticed how Peyton tensed as she let the women in. He almost laughed at how easy it was for this woman. He'd had to fight his way in here but Peyton just ushered her through. Lucas could see the panic in her face. He couldn't see what caused it as the women looked around. She was about his Mom's age, with her hair tied back in a bun, a cheap suit and a nosy stare.

"Lucas Scott." He stood, offering his hand, silently pleased that it hadn't been a male visitor.

"Kirsten Baker, social services." He released her hand and looked to Peyton, who picked up Anna.

"Luke was just leaving." Peyton said her voice soft, almost child like and nothing like the harsh tone she'd used before. "He's just…"

"I'm a friend of Peyton's from high school. I'm in L.A publishing my next novel. I'm an author, this is my second book actually." He flashed her a grin hoping to receive a smile in return. The mention of his book was usually warmly received. But the women just nodded and wrote something in her notes. "I thought I'd drop in and see them while I'm here. Anna's grown so much since I last saw her."

"That's what children tend to do, Mr Scott." She said, finally looking at him. He knew straight away he didn't like her. The way she was looking at Peyton and the attitude she was expressing towards the both of them. He was surprised by Peyton's acceptance.

"I know, my nephew grows every week-"

"Luke you better go." Peyton finally spoke. Lucas couldn't help but be encouraged by the way Peyton was now referring to him as Luke. She always called him Luke, when completely comfortable with his presence. He looked up to meet her gaze and for the first time he saw a desperation in her eyes, one that the rest of her body seemed desperate to hide. She quickly moved away, putting Anna on the floor and fiddling with her hair. It was tied up as it always was when she was trying to focus, trying to do something. He could still remember the way he'd find her in his room studying for finals her hair tide back and a determined look on her face. She'd missed a lot of school with the shooting and attacks. She also always tied back her hair when she cooked, or tried to. "Ms Baker, sorry about this. I wasn't expecting you for another while."

"I know I'm ten minutes early. I figured you'd be home. I didn't think you'd have company." Ms Baker replied, nodding in Lucas's direction.

"I'm going to make some tea. Would you like some Ms Baker?" He asked unsure of where the question came from. He didn't wasn't to leave. He waned to find out what was going on and he knew that ease dropping was the way to do it. All the years of working in his Mom's café had taught him that much.

"Yes, thank you."

"Lucas! I thought you were going." Peyton said a restraint in her voice.

"I'll make you guys a drink, and watch Anna while you talk. You still take two sugars Peyt?" He asked ignoring the stare she was now giving him. He made the drinks, noticing how thread bare Peyton's kitchen was. For that reason, he decided that he would be the one to miss out on a cup of tea. He'd listened to their conversation in attempt to understand what was going on as he played with Anna. She'd asked Peyton about work and how Anna was doing. Then she'd out of nowhere got up and looked around the apartment. Lucas could see how that unnerved Peyton who only relaxed when she'd sat down again. Peyton insisted they were both fine and that she was coping fine.

"Ba!" Anna suddenly shouted out, gaining both women's attention.

"I understand, she has a doctor's appointment tomorrow?" Peyton nodded. "Good, make sure to be on time. I'll see you next week Miss Sawyer. I'll call you and let you know."

"Yeap. Sounds good." Lucas watched as Peyton lead her to the door and watched her leave. She almost forgot about him for when she closed the door, she leaned back on to it. Her head rested back as she let out a huge sigh, as if she'd been holding her breath the entire time. She quickly remembered he was there and moved away, clearing away the cups.

"Let me do that." He walked over to her, he could see her hands practically shaking, as she rinsed out the cups.

"No I got it. You need to go."

"Who was she?"

"You need to go."

"She said she was from social services. What's going on Peyton?" He asked, trying dersperatly to read like he once could.

"Nothing." She walked away from him, chucking a cup back in the sink.

"it doesn't look like nothing." He spun her around so she was facing him.

"It's none of your business. She's my daughter Lucas. Mine, not yours or anyone else's." She snapped, he could see the tears forming in her eyes as she scrubbed away at a tea cup. He wasn't sure what to do, embrace her and force down her defences' or let her open up to him by herself.

"I know." He edged closer to her, so that he was standing right behind her. He could smell her shampoo and the perfume she always used. HE desperately wanted to reach out and touch her. She was intoxicating him; with the small curls of loose hair to short to be tied up that hung at the back of her head to the strip of skin between her jeans and t shirt. He was shaken from his thoughts when she heard her smash a cup into the sink. He could her her quietly sobbing and reached his hands out placing them on her shoulders. She tensed for a moment before relaxing. "She's your daughter Peyt."

"You need to go." She said weakly, turning to face him. She wiped the tears from her eyes and gave him a smile, trying to cover up the moment they'd just shared.

"Tell me who she is?"

"She's trying to take her away from me." She said, as he took her into his arms.

_Sometimes it seems like you are the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, or unsatisfied, or barely getting by. But that feeling's a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes. Someone to help us hear the music in the world, to remind us that it won't always be this way. That someone is out there. And that someone will find you__._

"That is not going to happen, I promise." Lucas whispered into her ear. They lay curled up on the couch, Anna was still sitting in th4e centre of the room amusing herself. Peyton was resting her head on Lucas's lap, as he ran his fingers through her hair. She had been crying for about an hour, and he had made out a few details. They didn't think she was a fit mother; they would be coming round for regular check ups for the next three months. Part of him wondered how this had happened. He could see Peyton loved Anna but somewhere along the way she'd lost her way.

She'd lost her way and now it seemed social services were on her back. As he looked around the apartment he could kind of see why. This wasn't the place to raise a child. When he'd lived with Nathan and Haely during college money had always been tight but they'd always had food in the press's and a feeling of security. He knew the fridge was thread bare. Peyton had always been skinny but she was bordering on unhealthy. He ran his hand down her side he could feel her ribs were there was once a toned abdomen, her hip was sharp no longer protected by flesh. Anna looked healthy which was something. She was happy and had an infectious smile. He found himself grinning like a hyena when he saw her smile. He remembered that the social worker had mentioned a doctor's appointment but he wasn't sure if he should bring it up.

Anna chose this moment to crawl over and begin to tug away at his trouser leg. He wasn't sure if Peyton noticed. If she did, he couldn't tell. He looked down at her angelic face. It was how he imagined Peyton as a baby. Anna must have been almost two years old, he guessed. She had green eyes just like Peyton's, although there was no sadness in her face, no vulnerability in her features. He supposed she was too little to understand what was going on around her. He didn't want her to ever know.

"It's going to be okay." He wasn't sure exactly who he was talking to but he meant it.

"How do you know?" Peytons small voice replied.

"Because I'm not going to let it." He lifted her off him with ease, and stood pulling her up with him and wrapping an arm around her, before lifting Anna up one handed. "We are going to be fine. You'll see."

**I just love that quote I used. I used it in my last story aswell. Oops- talk about un original!! Hope you enjoyed. Sorry its been a while. Exams just get in the way of everything!! I'm back posting now though and I just finished my other story so this will be my main focus now!! Please review.**


	6. Even The Best Fall Down

Lucas carried the last of the shopping up the stairs to Peyton's apartment. Shopping was the first thing on his list, he knew if he inquired too much Peyton would have the her walls erected in a spilt second. He was hoping after a few days she'd start to open up to him naturally like she used to. He'd insisted on buying everything, all her old favourites. Anything Anna had even pointed at had been purchased much to Peyton's embarrassment. He'd watched as she'd added up the numbers in her head and then spent the rest of her time trying to put stuff back on the shelves. Just to be cruel, he'd put a Dashboard Confessionals album in the trolley at the supermarket and watched as she looked at it, before putting it back. He'd gone back and got it.

When he got to the top of the stairs he let out an exhausted groan, realising how out of shape he was. Peyton who was carrying Anna and a few bags just laughed at him. They entered the apartment and put the shopping away, filling the presses of her small kitchen.

"Thank you Luke." It was small and timid but thank you's from Peyton always were. They were from the heart.

"Peyton Sawyer saying thank you, it feels like we've come full circle." He mused remembering the first time she'd thanked him .He'd always though that there was more to the cold exterior back then. That was the first moment he ever saw it first hand. The vulnerability that came with expressing thanks for help and in the process admitting she needed it in the first place. "Your always welcome. Anything for my two best girls."

He watched as she realised what he'd just said, there was a moment of hesitance and fear before she smiled and picked up Anna.

"Say thank you to Lucas." Anna produced something between a gurgle and a giggle before turning her attention to Peyton's hair which was loosely hanging around her shoulders.

"You're welcome Anna. Just remember me when you're famous princess." He joked. "Now for diner?"

"You don't have to do that. This was all too much as it is." Peyton said trying to make herself look busy. "Today was just a bit stressful. You know? I'm fine now. You can go. We'll be fine"

"Peyt, I want to stay." He knew he was coming close to crossing a line that had been present since he'd arrived. He knew she would fight him on this but he was ready. He knew what he wanted.

"No you don't." She almost laughed "Look around Lucas, you've got me and my baby, another mans baby. We live in a crummy one bed apartment, the water is rarely warm, the heating's non existent and I'm pretty sure that mould on the ceiling. You want to live here?"

"Yes." He calmly replied, he wasn't going to be drawn into the fight she obviously was gunning for. "I want to be with you Peyt."

"You don't know what you want!" She laughed, smirking at him. "Your just here because you think I'm desperate and needy. Have a bit of fun with me, and then walk away just as I need you."

"No!" He marched over to the small kitchen table, picking up his manuscript. He knew what he was saying would be rejected but she had the ability to et under his skin like no other. She was infuriating. Couldn't she see what he saw. In that room Lucas saw his future. "I have spent the last year writing this. This book and I know for sure that you're the only thing that matters. You're what I want."

"You think a book can fix this!" She stormed off too her room, returning with a stack of books, which she began to fire at him in between sentences. "I read a book once…you said I was great…you said I could be great…You said we were destined to be together… you said it to the world… you said it to me and I wish you never had because you did not mean any of it!"

"Peyt I -"

"Don't Peyt me. I don't want this crap. I don't want you coming in here, thinking you can save me. I don't need saving. I don't need another stupid book full of lies." He retreated from her, giving her space.

"It's not lies. It's the truth. I love you Peyton and I love Anna. I'll always love you. I made a mistake and when I visited last time I finally realized it."

"Visited? You didn't visit me. You were screwing the girl upstairs."

"I…I know. I was lost but then I found you. And I suddenly woke up and now I know what I want. I don't want to be that guy anymore. Last time you said we weren't those people from high school and you were right. I haven't been the guy I thought I would be, except when I'm with you. Peyt that day changed everything. I've sorted my life out, I wrote another book and I realized where my heart belonged."

"Well that's great. I'm really happy for you."

"Don't be like that."

"Why not? This is me Lucas. This is who I am. I'm cruel, and horrible. I'm a bitch."

"No your not."

"Yes I am and I won't apologize for it. This is who I am. I'm not your great Peyton Sawyer, with her art and music. I'm not going to fall for your stupid words."

He was about to speak when Anna started to cry, obviously frightened by the shouting. Peyton was by her side in an instant, picking her up and trying desperately to sooth her. After a few minutes the little girls quiet sobs subsided and she lay quietly in Peyton's arms, her small fingers grasping at Peyton's hair.

"Funny, you look just like the girl I knew." Lucas said, leaving his manuscript on the arm of her couch and leaving the apartment.

Peyton watched as Lucas left, fighting the temptation to throw that new book at him. Why did he always have to push things. He'd always known how to push her buttons and she didn't need to deal with him. Couldn't he see that he was out of place here? He didn't belong in this world of hers. She wouldn't drag him in to it. He deserved better than a whore and her baby. He was just in love with the idea of saving her and playing happy families.

"Come on baby…lets go to bed." Peyton cooed, trying to forget about Lucas Scott.

"Loo!"

When she woke the next morning, her phone was buzzing. Tony's name flashing on the screen. She rolled over grabbing the phone and answering.

"Morning beautiful."

"What do you want?"

"Is that any way to speak to the guy who gave you the day off yesterday. I take it you still got the kid." He laughed, she could almost see him smirking in his office. "I want you down here by one. Wear something sexy."

She didn't have the energy to reply and he hung up straight away, with a creepy laugh. She threw her head back onto the pillow, groaning before getting out of bed. Anna was sitting up in her crib playing happily. Peyton couldn't help but notice the presence of a pink pony. Anna was playing happily with it and Peyton wasn't sure if it was jealousy but she felt anger at how easily Lucas had managed to make her daughter happy. She'd barely cried since he'd shown up on her door step.

Peyton walked over to her and picked her up. She had three hours before she had to go to Tony's.

"How about me and you get ready and go to the park!"

"Loo!"

"I'll take that as a yes." Peyton dead panned, before handing Anna a ball. She wasn't going to let her daughters first word be Lucas. "Ball!"

"Loo!"

"Ball!"

"Ba!"

"That's my girl." Peyton smiled, hoping that would be the last mention of Lucas.

She got Anna ready and they headed out to the park. She loved the park. On sunny days they would just stroll through it and forget about everything outside of it. There was no work, no worries about money. They were free. She took Anna to one of the swings and rested her on her lap before gently swinging back and fourth. She watched as Anna stretched out one of her arms, tentatively, obviously insure of her balance. Once she realized it was okay she began to smile widely, laughing as they got higher.

"Loo!"

Peyton looked around to see Lucas coming towards them. She was tempted to run but she'd knew he'd follow and she didn't want to have to bring him home.

"What are you doing here Lucas?"

"I came to see Anna." He said, sitting down on the swing next to them. He reached his hand out and stroked Anna's cheek. "How are you today?"

"Just go away Lucas. I thought we settled this."

"No I went back to my hotel for the night. I'm not going anywhere Peyton."

"Well I'm going to work, so enjoy your day here."

"What about Anna?"

"I have a sitter."

"Who?"

"What's it got to do with you?"

"Yesterday you had social services around and they're worried. I want to know if she's safe." Peyton couldn't believe what he was saying and had no control when he hand flung across, slapping him.

"how dare you? I would never leave her with someone who'd hurt her."

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I-"

"Think I'm a terrible Mom."

"No. I know you're a great Mom and I know how hard it can be to raise a child alone. I just want to help. I could watch her today."

"And how do I know your safe?" Peyton said, packing up Anna's things, ready to leave.

"Please Peyton." She placed Anna in the stroller and looked up at him. Those blue eyes that she still had nightmares about looking down on her, looking straight through her. It made sense; she could cancel the sitter who wasn't exactly the most attentive and go to work. Lucas surely wouldn't need paying. Anna liked him. "I promise I'll take care of her"

"Fine" She wasn't sure why she agreed, moments ago she'd slapped him. He'd taken it and offered to mind her daughter.

"Great!!" He smiled. "I picked up my rental car. Do you mind if I take her out. We can pick you up from work."

"Um.." She stuttered, suddenly remembering her current employment. She wasn't sure why she cared all of a sudden. She hadn't told him about her job. IT wasn't exactly mainstream conversation. He still looked at her like she was good, good enough and part of her didn't want to ruin that for him "No…I like to walk home. There's a spare key to my apartment on the door frame if she needs to go home. But you can take her out."

"Okay. Your sure?" She nodded. "Right well, I'll have to get a car seat and then I was thinking the beach or somewhere."

"You don't have to get a car seat." Peyton said, she didn't want him to think she was being won over. This was just a one off. He was saving her some money. "This doesn't change anything."

"Whatever you need to believe." He said, looking straight at her, his face somewhere between a smile and a stare. She felt a shiver run onwn her spin, as the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. The feeling was unmistakable. She instantly looked away, wondering how he still managed to do that to her.

"I've got to go." She said goodbye to Anna, aware that Lucas was still watching her, before walking off. As soon as she was was out of site she leaned up against the nearest wall, composing herself. IT took a few moments and then she walked to Tony's.

The bouncers at the door of the club he owned let her through. Even at this hour she could hear the music blaring and already a small group had gathered at the bar. She walked back stage ignoring the cat calls. His office door was open and she wasted no time in heading straight in.

"Early, the social worker really did sort you out proper." He smiled, motioning for her to sit down. He stood and walked around to her, resting his hands on her shoulders, leaning forward allowing him to inhale deeply as he rubbed his face next to her head. "I have a job for you. Here's the address."

"How much?" She took the address and he allowed her to stand.

"A grand. So best behavior and you can walk away with a hundred." He said turnig her so she was facing him. "Understood?"

"Whatever" Peyton pushed him away, and shoved past him and walked out the door.

"See you later Sawyer!" He yelled. She hated that he knew her so well.

Lucas pushed Anna up and down the aisle of the store, looking at the baby car seats. He didn't really have a clue. He'd helped with Jamie but never with stuff like this. Eventually one of the shop assistants made her way over.

"Do you need any help, Sir?"

"Yeah. Could you explain to me what the difference is?" Lucas said, motioning to the aisle full of seats. She proceeded to explain about safety and comfort and eventually suggested that he sit Anna in them. He wasn't sure if it was tiredness but eventually Anna settled into a chair.

"You being a good girl, for your daddy!" The check out girl asked, as she scanned through their purchases. Anna reached up adorably, and Lucas's heart swelled at the thought of Anna calling him daddy. He knew it was stupid but couldn't help it. He'd fallen for this little girl. "Good, she's cute."

"Thanks" Lucas replied, brushing the thoughts aside and wondering if he should correct the girl. "She gets it from her mother."

"Well she's beautiful, just love those eyes." The girl cooed.

"Like I said; all her mother." Lucas laughed reaching down to Anna, who reached out taking a hold on his finger.

"Loo!"

"She'll break hearts."

"Well her Mom certainly did." Lucas sighed, taking the stuff from the till. "Thanks. Better get her home, I think the shopping's tired her out."

**Hope you liked plesae review. I hope Im writing Lucas okay. Sometimes i can be a bit critical of the dude but i love him really!!**


	7. Broken

Chapter 7

Lucas sat on the couch in Peyton's apartment, watching the clock tick. It was approaching midnight and Anna had long since gone to bed. Outside the city was still buzzing, but Lucas could still make out the sounds of someone coming up the stairs. He looked to the kitchen where diner still sat as it had done for the past few hours. He heard the key turn in the door and Peyton stumbled in, finding the light switch somehow.

"Lucas, I'm sorry. I... something came up...I'm sorry." She sat down next to him, her body almost sinking into the dirty couch.

"You never told me what your job was?"

"I work at a club." Peyton said, leaning back into the couch. Lucas could here her heavy breathing but couldn't bear to look at her. "How was Anna?"

"Good as gold."

"She's always such a good girl." Peyton mumbled as she stood.

"Yeah, she is. I made us diner." Lucas said finally looking at her, as she saw their diner sitting on the table.

"Sorry" She sighed

"It's okay-" Before he could speak she was up, almost stumbling across the room.

"No it's not but I have an idea" she laughed, waking over to the kitchen area and pulling out to glasses. "Maybe we could have dessert."

Lucas stood and walked over to her, taking the glasses from her shaking hands. She rested them onto his hips, smiling up at him giving her a full a view of her eyes. They were glazed over and she seemed unable to focus on anything. He barely recognised her.

"Peyt, stop for a second. We need to talk. I found-"

"But first we need a drink." She knelt down and turned to the cupboard under the sink. He heard her search before she stopped. For a second she didn't move and they remained motionless, neither knowing what to say. "Where is it?"

"What?"

"You know what I'm talking about" She hissed, as she frantically searched the press one more time. She took out its entire contents before standing and glaring at him. "Give it back."

"Tell me when. How long?" Lucas asked, trying to hide his anger.

"Lucas!"

"Just tell me."

"Give it back, now." Lucas threw his hands in the air in frustration before going back to sit on the couch. She followed him, and as he sat down, she began to check the pockets of his jacket. "Where is it?"

"How long?"

"I said I want it now."

"Need a fix." He smirked only fuelling her anger.

"Don't start."

"What, did I hit a nerve." She went to slap him, but he easily caught her arm. She struggled against his grip. "Please just tell me."

"It's not what you think." She pulled her arms away, exhaustion suddenly hitting her. He wondered if he had ever seen a mood change so quickly. Amoment ago she had been so full of fire and now she looked ready to collapse. Suddenly she was looking at him like a lost child: vulnerable and scared. He wanted to be angry at her, for doing this to herself, for doing this to her daughter.

"Really."

"It's just for emergencies. Sometimes I just need something to keep me going." She looked at him pleadingly.

"What about tonight?" He knew she must have taken something tonight. Just by the way she was holding herself and the fact she'd insinuated sleeping together. Earlier she'd barely wanted him around.

"Tonight?"

"You can barely stand." Lucas explained, trying desperately to read what was going on inside her head. He cupped her face in her hands. Usually he knew but at that moment he couldn't understand her or what she was doing, both to herself and her daughter.

"Work was just...hard." He released her face, not knowing what to do.

"What about Anna? Do you know what this could do to her?" He revealed the small plastic bag that she been looking for. "What if she found it?"

"I don't do it that often."

"Then how often! Last time I was here?" She nodded. "So a year? I can't believe you. What about when you were pregnant. The Peyton I knew would-"

"You mean the girl you left in a hotel room?"

"That has nothing to do with this. Or were you on them then?" He laughed bitterly.

"Screw you. You know I wasn't. And for the record I stopped once I found out about Anna!"

"Then what?"

"I had to feed her Lucas. I had no one else. I had to work."

"And take cocaine." He finished.

"Not everyone can live in fairytales." She said sadly.

"No, but you are better than this."

"No Luke, I'm not."

"Do social services know?"

"No!" She recoiled from his touch. "They can't take her from me. You can't tell them."

"I'm not going to tell them. Just tell me what they know?" He watched as she took his hand in her own. She steadied herself and placed his hand on her hip. He pulled it away. "Peyton"

"They don't know about the drugs or any of it." She sighed.

"Any what?" He wanted to know exactly what was going on. "Tell me what happened Peyton."

"Lucas, please." She looked at him and for a second he saw the girl he once knew, but then she was gone as she lifted her top over her head. He turned away from her. He wasn't going to do this, not when she was in this intoxicated state. "Luke, just look, please. I can't say it."

He turned to face her, and is eyes instantly fell on the bruises that covered her frail looking body. They were faint but still apparent to him. He didn't resist when she took his hand and placed it on her hip. Slowly he moved her hand up to one of the larger bruises and traced circles over it.

"When?" He managed to choke out.

"A few weeks ago." She replied, not moving.

"I should have been here."

"It wasn't that bad. I got home and someone found me. They called an ambulance. Social picked up Anna from my sitters."

"I'm sorry." It was all he could say. He wondered how she could say it wasn't that bad. She was attacked. He could still remember the attacks with her stalker. She had been so shaken. There was an air of acceptance now that scared him.

"Was Anna okay?"

"When I got out, they let me take her home but they wanted me to call them.... I couldn't let them take her... but they wouldn't go away. I tried to ignore them but they kept ringing and then they came over. They said..." She was sobbing and Lucas quickly took her into his arms, and wrapped himself around her, as she shook with each gut wrenching sob. "I tried Luke...I tried but it gets so hard...the drugs....they just make it all go away."

"Peyton...Anna needs you. You can't do this to her. She needs her mother and so do I. Let me help you please." He looked straight at her, her tear stained eyes looking straight back at him. "Let me in."

"You deserve better, I can't ruin your life. You belong in Tree Hill with your family. It wouldn't be fair to you."

"Then come with me. What's here for you? You and Anna could be happy in Tree Hill. There'd be people you know, who could help. Haley, Nathan and Mouth."

"Lucas it's not that simple."

"It could be. I'm asking you to think about it. I'll stay here with you if you can't go back but this is no place to raise a child and I think you know that. This place is killing you."

"What about social services?"

"They can contact the local services and they'll sort it."

"But-"

"But nothing. We could do this." He knew he was getting ahead of himself but it made sense. LA was killing her. The Peyton Sawyer he knew wouldn't have used drugs; she had people she could lean on in Tree Hill. In LA she had no one. "Tree Hill is your home. People care about you there. "

"No they don't. I'm just someone they went to high school with."

"Your more than that."

"Lucas, I'm a single Mom, living in an apartment, with no prospects no future. I'm nothing. I'm worse than nothing." She pulled away from him.

"No your not. You just need to dust yourself down. Come with me. You could be happy, I know it."

"What if I can't.... Lucas I'll ruin you. Don't you see that?"

"No, you won't. I love you Peyton. No matter what." He shook her shoulders, begging her to believe him one last time. She just avoided his gaze.

"I slept with someone today." She said, out of nowhere, as if it was nothing.

"What?" Lucas looked at her in disbelief, wondering if he'd heard her right.

"Today, I slept with someone for a hundred bucks."

"You said you worked at a club."

"I do but sometimes Tony he gives me stuff, he looks after me...and it's the only way I can pay him back."

"You slept with your boss?"

"No, a stranger. Now tell me how I can go back to Tree Hill?"

Lucas took a step back from her, breaking away. The drugs he could just about handle; she'd always been self destructive and he understood the need to numb the pain that everyday life could bring. He had often found himself staring down the face of an empty bottle. Alcohol had been his vice and means of escape. But prostitution; he was slowly coming to realise how right she was when she said she wasn't the girl he knew and how naïve he'd been.

He looked back at her; she just stood before him covering herself with her arms, looking at him with those broken green eyes. He remembered trying to describe them for his book. No one had understood the need for such a detailed description. He could remember Lindsay suggesting green. But there was so much more to them. They were so beautiful. Full of sorrow, tragedy, loss and anguish. But at the same time he could draw such inspiration from them, because despite the pain there was a quiet hope. As he looked at her now, he could see that hope now. The rest of her body contradicted it. He knew why she'd told him; she was testing him in her own way. He didn't doubt the truth in what she'd said. But she expected him to walk away.

"Never again." Lucas said, bringing her towards him and embracing her fiercely. He closed his eyes, burying the image and idea of what her life had become.

"What?" She asked as her head rested against his chest. He stroked her hair, and wrapped his arms around her.

"That's never going to happen again. You're coming home with me." He kissed the top of her head.

"But the things I've done-"

"Is there anything more?" She shook her head into her chest and he let out a sigh of relief. "Then it doesn't matter."

"Lucas" She breathed almost like a prayer. He could feel more tears soaking through his shirt, as he slowly ran his fingers down the bare skin of her arms. He tensed at the mere thought of someone else touching her, forcing her to sell herself like this. A part of him wanted to know how often but he knew the information would probably kill him. Already he was fighting a rage within in himself at the thought of some guy exploiting Peyton like this. He tried to push it to the back of his mind, as they stood, but he couldn't. "Are you okay?"

"What?" He hadn't realised he was shaking.

"How did we get so broken?" He whispered as he stroked her hair.

"I don't know."

**Another update for you. Thanks for all the review. I hope this update revealed a bit about Peyton for all those wondering. There will be more about it in the next few updates. Basically she's working at a seedy club; the owner has a hold over her and is feeding her growing drug habit. She's not on street corners or anything but it's still pretty bad. Hope that explains.**


	8. So Real

**Chapter 8**

Peyton watched from the couch as Lucas took the last box out of the room, he stumbled slightly before heading out the door. She let out a small snort, which he defiantly heard. When he returned he gave her a mock glare before picking up Anna. Peyton watched them, as Lucas got himself a drink. She was still struggling to believe that this was all real. She kept waiting for herself to wake up, and for Lucas to be gone, and social services on her back.

"Anna banana, what would you like?" Lucas asked as he got out the orange juice, filling himself a glass, and handing Anna her beaker. "Excellent choice."

"Loo!"

"Lu-cus." Lucas repeated. "Come on bay girl. Lucas."

"Loo!"

"Close enough for now. By the time we get back to Tree Hill we'll have it."

"About that…" Peyton said, finally letting Lucas know she'd been listening. "What am I going to say?"

"What?"

"Luke, I haven't seen them in years. I mean what will they say?"

"I imagine they'd say hello, followed by how are you." Lucas laughed, as Peyton rolled her eyes. "Peyt, they'll happy your back."

"What will I tell them?" She'd been worrying about this constantly, and hadn't known how to voice it. How could she tell the people who had once been her closets friends about her life. She couldn't tell them about Tony, about what she'd done.

"It's your decision. I haven't told them anything." Lucas said seriously. "I just know they're our friends and they love you. They're going to love this little one too."

"Can we just say I've been a Mom? Not mention the other stuff." Peyton asked nervously. "Pretend it never happened."

"Sure."

"I just don't want them to look at me like that. They still think of me as Peyton Sawyer, girl who loves music. To them I could still be great."

"You are." Lucas said, pulling her into a hug. His arms had become her new refuge, replacing the part drugs used to play. Lucas was now there for her to lean on. "You Peyton Sawyer are destined for greatness."

He kissed her forehead, and returned to packing up the rest of her stuff. She didn't have much to begin with and they'd packed up almost everything in a day. Lucas had been delighted to find a collection of his first novel, in her wardrobe. Not even she could laugh off the discovery of about twenty copies. Lucas had insisted on leaving Anna's crib, insisting he'd buy a new one once they were back in Tree Hill. A part of her couldn't believe she was going back there and would be living in his home.

They hadn't discussed much about the arrangements. He just kept saying they were going home. She knew he still lived their, based on their conversation almost a year ago. He hadn't mentioned moving this time, and truth be told she couldn't imagine him anywhere else. She could still remember his room, the feeling of home it always gave her. The shelves of books, the desk littered with pictures and the wall covered in a mural of the river court. She could remember the summer she'd done that for him. They'd been purely friends; spending all their time together. She wondered if she'd ever been happier than she was then. It had been just the two of them.

Now they were together again, and for the last day the three of them had lived in a little bubble. She was nervous that in Tree Hill it would be popped. Would they even welcome her back? The last time she'd spoken to Haley had been before Lucas's proposal, and Nathan was the same. He'd phoned a few times but inevitably had faded away. She couldn't blame him. Lucas was his brother, and Haley his wife. Then there was her best friend, Brooke. In the last few years she'd watched as Brooke had shot to fame. Movie premiers, magazine covers and TV appearances. Peyton had pushed her away after her break up with Lucas. She'd shut herself away and drowned her sorrows alone. Now she was returning home, and terrified at the prospect of facing them.

"Peyt, you okay?" She snapped out of her daze, to Lucas's concerned face. "Your miles away."

"Just thinking about Tree Hill."

"Everybody will be thrilled to see you. Trust me." She nodded, although she was far from convinced. "I'm going to throw this stuff out with the trash okay?"

He'd only been gone a few seconds a few seconds when his phone started to buzz. And David Grays Babylon filled the room. She picked it up and saw Haley's picture flashing on the screen. The picture was of her with her arms wrapped around a small boy. He must have been Jamie. He was the spitting image of Lucas. She found herself just watching the screen flash until it went dead.

It started again a few minutes later and Peyton was relieved when Lucas came through the door. She had him the phone, embarrassed at her fear.

"Haley!" Lucas answered.

"Lucas. Why haven't you called?" Peyton could hear her shouting. "You said you'd call."

"Sorry Mom!"

"Don't give me that. Where are you? You said a few days?"

"I'm fine. I'm with Peyton." Peyton could no longer make out what Haley was saying, her voice suddenly hushed and too fast for Peyton to make out. "Yes…I'll be back in a few days…Yes she night be….Seriously….I'm not talking about this….How did you know….No I wouldn't want to talk about this with you no matter who was in the room…I take it your happy for me….Love you too Hales….Yes I'll call tomorrow….Goodbye Hales."

"Sorry. She'd go on for hours if she could." He laughed.

"What she say?" Peyton asked nervously.

"Your so cute you know that?" Lucas smiled.

"What?"

"The way you but on your bottom lip, or fiddle with the hem of your shirt." He took her hand from her shirt. "So cute when you're nervous."

"Should I be nervous?"

"No. I think they're excited. I haven't exactly been the happiest person lately. I think the term Mole Man was used." He brushed back her hair behind her ear.

"Nah, you superman."

"Glad to hear it. You have nothing to be scared of. I promise. This is our happy ending Peyton Sawyer." She felt herself tear up as he spoke.

"I'm such a girl." She said wiping her eyes.

"My girl." He said wiping away, her tear. She felt her heart rate increase when she realised how close he was to her. He seemed to realise it to, and looked at her, almost for permission. She reached up to him, softly placing her lips on his. After a few seconds he broke away, looking at her with a desire she was sure she mirrored. They locked lips again, and Peyton felt Lucas pushing her back towards the bed. The back of her knees hit against the side of the bed and they fell on to the mattress, in a heap of ragged breath and tangled legs. His lips moved down her neck, and she gasped as he nipped on her neck. He removed his shirt, and helped her take her off, lifting it over her head. Before he could push her back down she undid the buckle of his jeans. She couldn't pull down the trouser as he'd lifted her to him. She wrapped her legs around his waist, as he moved them to the centre of the bed, discarding her bra. She pushed down his trousers with her toes, as he massaged one of her breast. She could feel her whole body warming with his every touch and when he took one of her breasts in her mouth, she had to fight the urge the urge to scream out his name. She arched her back, rubbing her hips against. She needed him more than anything. He moved quickly leaving a trail of smouldering kissing down her abdomen.

"Lucas please!" He smirked up as she looked down at him desperately, her face shining of from the perspiration. He quickly unbuttoned her trousers and slide them off her. She heard him rip off her underwear and grabbed onto his hair as he kissed up her inner thigh. "Luke!" She pulled at the hair at the top of his neck, begging him to stop teasing her. "I need you Luke."

"I'm here." He said in between kisses as he made his way up against her searing body. "I am always going to be here."

She grabbed onto his back as he entered her for the first time, and with each thrust she clung to him fiercely. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her head buried in the crook of his neck. She was hanging on for dear life.

She slowly cam down from her own natural high as Lucas's form wearily rested on top of her. He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead, as he rolled off her. He curled up into his arm, and began to idly trace circles onto his chest. He wrapped an arm around her, bringing her closer so she could rest her head on his chest, and kissed her messy hair. She sighed for once not out of frustration but out of contentment as she lay in the silence with only Lucas's heartbeat for company.

**Hope that scene was okay. I always get a bit nervous about those bits. There hard to get right if you get me...okay making this awkward. Thanks for all the reviews. I can't believe season 6 is over. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. Just watching one tree hill as i write and did anyone notice how nice Nathan looked when he found out Devon had a family. Sexy. And Brooke talking about girl code. Peyton chucked that out the window a long time ago. God love Brooke and her girl code. Anyway a bit of track there. I just love Nathan when he's looking like that. Hope your enjoying the story. I'm planning on bringing in some of the other characters soon. Any questions just ask!**


	9. Like The Way I Love You

"Mr Scott, having good intentions is all very well but I have to think of Anna, and to say this seems a bit rash would be an understatement." Lucas felt Peyton's body tense as Kirsten Baker interrupted him for the umpteenth time. He gave her knee a reassuring squeeze.

"Please call me Lucas, and trust me this is in no way a hurried decision. In fact most have our friends have been waiting for me and Peyt to put up the white picket fence." He chuckled to himself but his audience wasn't amused. Peyton looked at him as if he'd just cursed in front of a priest, and Mrs Baker looked like the priest.

"What Luke means is, we've known each other for years." Peyton said.

"That may be, but it's my understanding he's been here less than a week, and when the honeymoon period wears out, I need to make sure Anna won't be the one who suffers." She took a sip of her coffee. "You've got to be realistic. Moving to the other side of the country is a big step."

"It's also Peyton's home, her friends are their." Lucas said sick of listening to this strangers opinions. "In Tree Hill, Peyton will have friends and family. It's the perfect place to bring up a child. And if you ask me a hell of a lot better than LA"

"Lucas!" Peyton hissed.

"Sorry what I mean is: everyone is different and I just don't think the city suits these two. In the end you've got to find what fits you, and you can't honestly think Peyton's found her perfect fit here."

"I think we've established that." She yielded. "I'd need information about your living arrangements."

"I'm a home owner, I can give you the address."

"What I mean is, is it suitable for a child?"

"Well I've lived in it all my life." Lucas replied flatly, before plastering a smile across his face when he saw how worried Peyton looked. She'd barely spoken. He knew he had to convince this women for her. "My little sister still keeps a lot of her stuff there, so I know its fine for Anna. Lily's only 5 so I know it's fine for a little girl."

"You have a little sister?"

"Yes." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. "That's her and my nephew Jamie, last year. They were born within a day of each other. That's my Mom. And this is me and Peyton with Lily, the day she was born."

"Very nice."

"Thanks but this is what I mean. This is what's waiting for us there. I assure you I've thought of nothing else, for years now. This isn't rash. I want us to be a family and I think we need to do it fresh. There's too many ghosts for Peyton here."

"You have quite a way with words Mr Scott, Lucas" Lucas nodded. "But sometimes something more is needed."

"Tell me what it is? Because I would do anything for these two. There my whole world."

"You would have to make contact with our offices in your locality."

"Of course."

"Set up meetings with them."

"Definatly."

"Then I wish you well." Lucas heard Peyton inhale deeply. "I'll be in touch, with you both."

"Thank you so much." Lucas extended a hand. She left shortly afterwards and as soon as the door shut, Lucas picked Peyton up and spun her around.

"Put me down you dork." She said, pushing at his shoulder but he continues to twirl her around. "Lucas put me down."

"Okay." He let her feet touch the floor, but she didn't pull away. He wiped away the hair that was in her face before leaning in to kiss her. "Oh I could get used to this."

"Me too." Peyton mumbled. "It's nice."

"Well you'd better get used to it, because this is how it's going to be from now on Sawyer, although next time it might help if you spoke a bit more."

"But you always say the right things!" Peyton pouted.

"I'll let you off this time wily." Lucas said finally letting go of her and turning his attentions to Anna. "You too Anna banana, since when are you that shy?"

"Loo!" Anna said reaching out to grab his nose.

"Now my girls are all talk."

"Loo!"

"What am I going to do with you and your Mom? What is Daddy going to do with you?" Lucas spoke without thinking, he put Anna down and turned to face a pale Peyton. "Peyt, you okay?"

"You said-" He moved over to her, grabbing her shoulders, she looked as if she was about to collapse. "You said Daddy."

"Oh" He grimaced at his response, as he felt Peyton pull away. He wasn't sure if it was possible to be so stupid, and twice. He pulled her back. "I could be, if you want….Because it's what I want."

"You don't have to." He could see her tears forming, and she tried to turn away from him. To hide them from him, and he hated that somehow she had lost faith in him. She had lost belief in them. He knew it wouldn't return over night to her. It would take time to scale her walls once again, but he had done it before and no one else had ever been able to: not her family or her best friend. Only him.

"I want to though. Don't you see? Us moving to Tree Hill, being together. It's all I want. I want us to be a family."

"You mean it?"

"Of course I do." He wiped away the tears, which threatened to fall from her eyes, and kissed her cheeks softly. "Don't you know how much I love you, love Anna?"

"I know but-"

"Than you don't know because there are no buts. Peyton I love you and I promise this time I won't hurt you."

"Okay." It was weak and timid but he heard it as he pulled her into his chest. It was an acceptance that for now she believed him. One day she would know. He didn't want to let her go but when his phone started to vibrate she pulled away. "You better get that."

"Hello?"

"Lucas Scott?"

"Yes, this is Lucas."

"Hi Lucas, Grant Buckley here. I got your message about flying home in the next couple of days."

"Tomorrow actually." Lucas smiled watching Peyton as she sat down on the floor with Anna.

"Looks like I'm just in time. We wanted to discuss some things about the book. Marketing felt it was more science fiction."

"No it's a love story."

"About a boy who's in love with a comet."

"It's a metaphor." Lucas said, looking down at Anna and Peyton. "It's a love story."

"That's what Michelle said. Women always get these things. Could you come over for a while. Just go over a few things before you fly home."

"Sure. I can be there within the hour."

"Sounds great, thanks Lucas."

"No problem Grant." Lucas hung up the phone and settled down on the floor. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay."

"Some of the business people don't get the book." Lucas explained. "they think I've gone Sci-Fi."

"Nothing wrong with Sci-Fi" Peyton said, doing her best Spok wave.

"Cute. About before."

"We can talk about it later. Don't you have to go."

"Yeah but-"

"There's no buts remember."

"Okay." He kissed her on the forehead, before doing the same to Anna. "I'll be back real soon."

"Bye." Peyton picked up Anna. "Say goodbye."

"Bye Anna." Lucas said as he walked out the door, before remembering. "Oh Peyton, I love you, both of you. You know that?"

**I am so sorry it took me so long to update. I got a tad blocked and didn't want to just update for the sake of it. It won't happen again I promise, I'm usually quiet quick and I have the next two chapters basically completed so they'll be up soon. Thanks for the reviews!! **


	10. Something To Die For

Chapter 10

"_The boy walked down the deserted streets, the silence of the night his only sanctuary. He came down to the river which ran straight through the town, its waters black reflecting the night sky. He looked across seeing only the lights of the town, and street lamps lighting up parts of the pavement. It was the time of night when soon enough people would begin to leave the bars and return home, ready to repeat their day. Time and time again he watched, often seeing people he knew. This was his world, perhaps it was futile to hope for something better. He took on last look at the icy waters of the small town, and in the corner of his eye he saw it, flying across the river. He looked to the sky above him…"_

Lucas found himself walking the streets of LA. After his meeting he'd found himself strangely in the mood to walk, and enjoy what LA had to offer. He was going to ring Peyton and have her meet him somewhere but he'd forgotten his phone. He'd then realised he hadn't spoken to Haley and she had probably left him a dozen messages. He smiled at the thought of his best friend; he couldn't wait to see her. More importantly he couldn't wait for her to see Anna and Peyton.

He could see Peyton's apartment as he crossed the street, and almost skipped across the road. He bounded up the stairs suddenly full of life. As he reached Peyton's floor he was shocked to hear piercing screams coming form her door, which was ajar. Anna's cries were deafening, as he ran in, finding her screaming in her crib.

"Peyton!"

"Peyton!"

He picked her up, rocking her in an attempt to calm her but it was futile. He looked around the apartment noticing the mugs from this mornings meeting with the social worker lay shattered across the floor. He carried Anna over with him, a wave of nassau hitting him as he realised there must have been a struggle. Her bag was on the couch its contents littered across the floor

"Peyton" He said as he walked to the door, seeing the scratch marks as if someone had been clinging to it for dear life. He was suddenly bought back to that night when Ian Banks had first attacked her. He tried to steady himself, hoping against all his reason that she would walk through the door. She didn't and when Anna stopped crying, he felt himself go numb.

He knew nothing about where she could be, why this had happened. What had happened? He felt naïve for thinking he could just brush this life under the carpet and that in attempting to do so, Peyton had inevitably paid the price. He thought of the faint bruises she had shown him, and wondered. Tony, her boss. The thought hit him like a ton of bricks. He was the guy who gave her drugs, who in Lucas's opinion was the root of this.

He raced up the stairs to the only person he actually knew in LA and was relieved when she opened the door.

"Hi, I'm Lucas. You probably don't remember me."

"No."

"We hooked up about a year ago. Sarah, right." Lucas said, remembering Peyton had told him she was nice.

"No sorry, I am Sarah but I don't remember you."

"I'm a friend of Peyton's, she lives downstairs. Actually I'm more than a friend"

"Sure I know Peyton…" She motioned to Anna. "That's her kid right."

"Yeah. I was wondering if you could watch her."

"Is Peyton okay?"

"I don't know."

"Tony doesn't usually get so mad" She sighed.

"What?"

"Tony, he was pretty cross."

"He was here!" Lucas almost yelled, clutching at this small bit of information.

"Yeah. Seemed pretty pissed, was banging on the door and all. I was almost going to go down. But when him and Peyton start its best to stay out the way. Peyton gives as good as she gets and well Tony, he's Tony."

"What does that mean?"

"It means when them two fight, stay out of the way."

"This has happened before."

"Look, I don't want to get into any trouble. You should just ask Peyton."

"I would but she's gone."

"Then I'd just leave it." She went to close the door in his face but he quickly blocked her form doing so.

"I can't do that."

"She'll be home eventually."

"I need to find her now."

"I know but trust me, you'd be better off not getting in Tony's way."

"Would Peyton be better off?" He noticed how she swallowed the lump in her throat. "Do you know where I could find him? Tony?"

"Probably the club. It's two blocks from here. It's called Scarlet's. He'll be in his office if he's there. Just don't say I told you. I need my job and this place. Please don't screw it up for me" He noticed the fear with which she spoke. "I'll watch Anna."

_"He wondered if he'd ever seen anything more beautiful, gracious and memorizing. As it disappeared from his view, he ran to follow it, eventually finding himself alone on the outskirts of town. But for the first time in his life, he was not alone."_

Lucas dashed down the street, crashing into several people as he frantically tried to find the club Sarah mentioned. He wasn't sure if he wanted to find Peyton there, on one hand he would have found her and that in way was the problem as well.

Lucas made his way through the smoky club; he quickly spotted the back door which a few girls walked through. He followed them, unsure of what to do when they walked into a room leaving him in an empty corridor. He leaned back against the wall, composing himself briefly. He had stormed here in a whirlwind. As he stood there he suddenly felt at a loss at what to do. He had no idea where he was or what he was going to do.

He checked every room, finding toilets, alcohol, and music equipment. He slammed the door shut on the amps and other music things in frustration.

"Temper Blondie!" He was met with a tall woman, wearing a short skirt and a revealing top. He looked away. "What you looking for back here? I'm sure I could help you out."

"I'm looking for a guy-"

"Wrong club, I'm afraid." She laughed.

"Tony."

"Oh, well you aren't going to find him back here. He's got an office upstairs." She came closer to him. "But he's in a pretty foul mood honey."

"I know."

"Be careful." She warned before disappearing.

Lucas rushed to the stairs. They lead him up to a loft of sorts; sitting at the desk was a bull of a man, who barely acknowledged Lucas's presence until Lucas stood directly in front of his desk, his fists on the desk.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Peyton. Where is she?" Lucas asked through gritted teeth.

"She's busy." He finally looked up at Lucas. "And you're in my office. I'd advise you remove yourself."

Lucas removed his hands from the table, and went to turn. He quickly turned back, catching the larger man unaware as he grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards him.

"I'd advise you to tell me where she is" Lucas hissed, as he tightened his grip on Tony's shirt. The desk between them was the only thing stopping Lucas from laying into this man.

"Do you know who you're talking to?"

"I don't care. I want to know where she is, and I want to know now."

"Then let go." Lucas did as asked, confident if Tony tried anything he'd be able to hold his own. He may not have been in game shape for basketball but he was confident: he was fitter than this man, and angrier. "Peyton. She's a cracker, real wild cracker. Bit of a mouth but still. You must be the new guy. What's your name again? Lucas isn't it. You seem like a good guy, and Peyton's just not a good girl."

"Shut up. Tell me where she is before I kick the shit out of you."

"Whatever you say." He almost laughed, only increasing Lucas's anger. He walked around so he was standing next to Lucas, and rested a hand on his shoulder. "You know Lucas, I don't blame you, she's a looker, but I wouldn't bother fighting for her. I've got a club full, and I'll even set you up for a night."

"I'm going to ask you one more time, where is Peyton?"

"She's working." The smug grin that appeared was all it took to send Lucas into a rage. He immediately swung his arm catching Tony's jaw, who stumbled backwards. "Bad move kid"

Tony lunged back at Lucas who dodged his advance, and grabbed him pushing him up against the wall. He wasn't going to be messed with. Peyton was too important to him.

"Fine whatever." Tony said the smugness an ever present. "You can have her but she'll come back to me. She always does-"

"Where is she?" Lucas shouted pulling Tony towards him only to slam his back against the wall. "I swear to God, I will kill you if you don't tell me."

"Relax Luke, my man. I'll tell you." He laughed, "Tell you what, I'll even take you two her. She's only downstairs."

"I was already downstairs, don't fuck with me."

"I'm not I promise. Just follow me." Lucas released him from his grasp and shoved him towards the door. As he stumbled forward Lucas caught a flash of light in his eyes and before he knew it Tony was facing him with a gun. His breath hitched and he held his hands up in surrender. "Now who's the tough guy?"

"I just want to know where she is" Lucas said calmly. "Please."

"You know, I get it I do. Peyton's a nice girl. She's got that look you know, it's rare. Like she's innocent but then she really isn't. You know?" Lucas nodded, watching as Tony flicked the gun around. "But she's a whore and I'm telling you this for your own good: you don't want something like that. You seem like a good guy so go home and forget all about her. And I'll forget about this."

"I can't do that."

"You realise I have a gun to your head right?"

"I do but you're...I'm here for Peyton, and I won't leave without here."

"God she must have fucked you good." At his words Lucas took a step forward. Hearing Peyton spoken of like this was unbearable. Tony quickly held the gun up, pointing it directly at Lucas's face "Slow down there Lukey, gun, remember."

"How could I forget?"

"That's what I like about you Lucas, and I bet Peyton likes it. Your funny. A real comedian. Even when I've got a gun pointed at your fucking skull. It's a good thing I'm a nice guy." Lucas allowed Tony to push him out the door and lead him down the stairs, he wasn't sure what else he could do. He wasn't going to get himself shot, and he still had no idea where Peyton was. "Lucas, because I like you I'm going to give you what you want. You can have your precious Peyton. Hell I'm even going to drop you at the door."

Lucas didn't have much a choice, as he was bundled into the backseat of a car. Tony sat in the backseat with him on the phone to someone, and Lucas watched L.A fly by him. His left knee shaking as he considered for the first time the situation he was in. He was sitting in a car with dodgy club owner, involved in prostitution drug, and god only knows what. Lucas was high school basketball coach and writer: he was out of his depth and regretting the fact that no one knew where he was. He'd turned down the publisher's hotel, so they wouldn't miss him, and Haley wouldn't get worried or a day or two. He shook his head, regretting that he hadn't left a message with someone. There was the girl minding Anna but she barely knew him, but she did know Peyton. And Anna, he'd just left her, the social worker would have a field day with this. He was completely lost in his thoughts when the pulled up at an old derelict building. Tony had long since hung up the phone.

"Here we go, they assure me Peyt's waiting." Tony smiled, as he got out of the car behind Lucas. "Kind of like a fairytale, ain't it..."

Lucas didn't pay attention as Tony continued to speak, instead he noticed how the two large looking men who had been in the car got out. Both towering and well built, and glaring at him.

"…I think it's quiet poetic."

Tony got back into the car, and before Lucas could move a set of arms were restraining him, and he felt something explode in his head, before everything went black.

_"And then it was gone. Left behind was a boy who could never be the same. His life had been drastically changed, his eyes opened up to a new world. He tried to explain it to everyone, from his father to the local priest. No one believed him. Just a star, they said. They couldn't understand, they hadn't seen it, not like he had. They couldn't __understand the change it had catalysed in him; he would never be the same but it didn't scare him. It was inspiring and one day they'd see it too. For once in his life he had a purpose."_

**Hope you enjoy the chapter. Thanks for the reviews!!! to answer a few questions:They will be in Tree Hill soon, I promise. And I will introduce Anna's Dad aswell. It's not Lucas sadly. Haley will be the Haley I love, protective of Lucas but welcoming at the same time. **


	11. Home

Lucas immediately became aware of the throbbing pain at the back of his head, and as he opened his eyes he could feel his entire body aching. He looked around the room he now found himself in and noticed a discarded piece of piping covered in blood. He winced as he found the source of pain with his hand on his head. He slowly got to his feet, holding himself steady, but having to bend over due to the searing pain standing caused in his abdomen.

"Peyton! Peyton!" He stumbled towards the door of the room, and burst through it into the light of the L.A streets. He could vaguely remember them dragging him into the building, before battering his body. He caught his breath before surveying the building. "Peyton!"

There was no response as Lucas sunk onto the steps, holding his head in his hands and wondering what else to do. He ignored the looks of passers by as he sat there on the steps to this house. As the town darkened he rose to his feet, kicking out at the house and hurting himself in the process.

"Dammit Peyt. Where are you?" He shouted out as he turned from the building. He tentatively moved away.

"Help." It was quiet and if the streets hadn't been near deserted he wouldn't have heard the faint cry. It was like a whimper, and was coming from the building. He was sure it was real as he quickly turned, his injuries no longer holding him back as he entered the house once more.

"Peyton?" He cried out as he frantically began searching through the building.

"Tony?" The voice cried and he was almost possible it was her. "Please. Tony."

Lucas followed the cries, and quickly found her tied up to a chair in the back room. She was totally disorientated and her head dropped as he knelt down as he began to untie her.

"Please just let me go. Please." She mumbled onto his shoulder. "Please"

"It's me Peyton." Lucas said holding up her head and trying to get her to look at him, but her eyes didn't seem to be able to focus and her head dropped so it was resting on his shoulder. It was easy to sweep her up into his arms and he ignored the cries of his own body as he carried her out off the room and found a sink. He drizzled some water over her face and with his shirt wiped a way a combination of sweat and tears from her face. He felt her stiffen as he traced over her jaw and he could see the beginnings of a bruise. He wiped the blood from the corner of her lips as he held her up against the wall. "Peyt, baby, can you stand?"

"Lucas?" She said finally coming around. Her hands gripping his shirt. "You're here."

"Yeah. We need to get you to the hospital."

"No. Anna."

"She's fine, I left her with your neighbour. Now come on. I'm getting you to a hospital."

Lucas somehow got them into a cab, considering their appearance and was grateful he'd had his wallet on them.

"Nearest hospital please."

"."

"Peyton, you need to go to the hospital." He knew she hated hospitals; she'd spent far too much time in them but she needed help. So did he. "It'll be okay, I promise."

"I need to go home." She looked up at him, eyes full of desperation. "Please Lucas, I need to go home."

He reluctantly yielded, he could cope. It was her he was worried about. They gave the driver the new destination, and then sat in silence. Every time he'd look at her, he'd notice how she'd turn to the window. When they finally got to her apartment, she was yet to speak.

"I'll go and get Anna then." Lucas sighed as Peyton walked to the bathroom and away from him without so much as a glance. When he came back the bathroom door was locked. He settled Anna and waited for her. She came out showered and he could see for himself the damage that had been done.

"So what time did you say the flights were?" She asked as if nothing had happened. He watched in utter shock as she almost breezed into the kitchen area. "Do you want a drink?"

"Peyton." He walked over to her, knowing full well what she was doing. He wasn't going to let her push this under the rug.

"I'm going to have coffee." She looked in the fridge.

"Pey-"

"Does that smell okay to you?" She held out an obviously sour litre of milk.

"Peyton."

"Mabye just juice. That okay for you."

"Peyton."

"What?"

"Stop." He grabbed her wrists, shaking her, and could only watch as she dropped the carton of juice and glasses which shattered across the floor. She stood there shaken. "Stay still."

"Lucas, get off me."

"No." He said firmly, as she tried to squirm out of his grasp. "We need to talk about this. Tell me what happened."

"You know what happened."

"Peyton, I just need you to be okay." He released her arms and cupped her cheek.

"I'm okay." He wanted to believe her and shook his head as he saw her wince when he ran his fingers over her jaw.

"Peyt. You need to go to a hospital, and the police. They can't get away with this."

"I don't need to go to the hospital. I'm fine."

"You could barely stand earlier."

"Earlier. I'm fine now."

"Then just the police, you can't let them get away with this."

"No! No police, no hospital. Jesus Lucas- can we just forget about it?" She hissed, angry that Lucas couldn't just let this go.

"No, I almost got myself killed." Lucas said throwing his hands up at her lack of self worth. "We have to report this. It's not right."

"No, we don't. We're going home tomorrow, if we report this, there'll be statements and reports. We don't have time." Peyton reasoned, she knew her argument was weak but she had to convince Lucas. She didn't expect him to understand; she could report Tony. If Lucas thought today was as bad as it could get, he was wrong. Peyton knew better: she had to keep her mouth shut and run. For Anna's sake.

"We don't have time. That's bull. I risked my life for you and you can't even tell me the truth." Lucas roared, unable to control his anger at her inability to be honest. Surely he deserved to be let in.

"I'm sorry it interrupts your social schedule." Peyton smirked. "And I never asked you to."

"That is not what I meant. Don't twist my words because you're scared."

"Scared?" She asked incredulously

"Scared. You're afraid, and you're putting up those fucking walls, with stupid excuses. Because you're afraid."

"You don't know what you're talking about!" She went to walk away but he grabbed her and pulled her back to him.

"You're afraid, but if you let me in. I promise you'll, we'll get through it together."

"Because that worked out so well for me last time." She said bluntly, her voice wasn't raised, her words not hissed out of spite, but they broke his heart all the same. He hadn't been there yesterday when she'd needed him, and one look at her face had him tearing up. He looked to the ceiling cursing the stupid meeting as she spoke softly "Lucas, please just take me home."

"Peyton." He said pulling her into his chest and kissing her hair. "Okay, we'll go home."

"Promise?"

"I promise. Just let me in okay."

"Okay." They lazily wondered over to bed, and after a few minutes Peyton had curled her back into Lucas's, and his hand was tracing circles up and down her arm. Peyton could feel it slowing as he drifted off to sleep. She new it wouldn't be easy for her as she whispered. "Thanks for saving me Luke."

"Anytime, and you'll never have to ask." Lucas said as he wrapped his arms around her.

They spent the next morning preparing for the flight and making sure they looked well enough to fight. Lucas would never admit it but he'd enjoyed messing around with make up and trying on hats to cover the scar left from being knocked over with a pipe. If it wasn't for airport security they were going to go in disguise. Peyton had used her eye liner for Lucas's goatee and he was ready to parade it. No one knew him in L.A and it was nice being happy.

He hadn't brought up the police; a night spent listening to Peyton's sleepy confessions was enough. Her fear could be summed up in one word: Tony. She's rambled on about Tony, begging him to stop, then Anna. Lucas couldn't barely lie there and listen. She was afraid of Tony and what he'd do to Anna, to him. She was trying to protect them in her own way and he loved her for that. He would just have to wait until she could tell him, he had faith that she would.

When they arrived at the airport ridiculously early, they took Anna to watch planes land, and look what Lucas deemed the first family photo to Peyton's horror. One side of face was slightly swollen. The bruise from her attack and bloomed and was barely covered with a huge amount of concealer. Partly to annoy her he continued to take it out during the flight, looking at it from his aisle seat so all the air hostess's can see, and then obviously have to stop and admire.

"I am going to kill you." Peyton whispered as he showed someone else.

"What?" He laughed

"You know what. Do you know that guy?" She pointed to the guy walking away from the baggage reclaim.

"I might."

"You are such a liar." Peyton said smacking him playfully.

"Watch it Blondie." Lucas warned as they headed out to the taxi rank hand in hand, each using their spare hand to push Anna's pram and the trolley with luggage. "Taxi"

"Luke, can we just stay at yours for a bit. I want to give my face a little time…" She tailed off, nervously, he'd been exited to see Haley and Nathan and she could tell he missed Jamie. She just didn't want them to see her so broken. She wanted to be the Peyton Sawyer they remembered.

"Peyt, they won't care. We can explain-"

"We're not telling them."

"Peyton, I can't avoid them for long. It's my best friend and brother in law."

"Exactly I want to look good."

"Peyt, they already know you. They're going to support you. They love you just like me." Lucas said kissing her forehead.

"Lucas I don't have a lot….When I last saw Haley I was working marketing in Sire Records and I want to be that girl. I don't want them to look at me like…like that." She nodded towards the middle age women glaring at her, before zipping up her sweat top, and pulling away from Lucas. "I don't have a lot…I'd like to have my reputation."

"I'll call over tonight, otherwise Haley will drop in. Trust me." He knew it was a long shot but he had to find away to keep both parties happy. "But she'll want to see you, so can I arrange a diner?"

"When?"

"This weekend. Like a reunion"

"I'll do it but don't call it the reunion."

"You drive a hard bargain but deal. I'll text Haley now, and we'll have diner Saturday night."

They got into a cab together, and Peyton found herself watching a new world pass her by. When they arrived in Tree Hill, it was all so different and yet nothing had really changed. Lucas's childhood home being the epitome of what she was feeling. She could still see her young self nervously approaching after his accident and she could remember the summer nights they'd spent lying out on his porch talking and arguing over the most random things.

"_Coke__ or Pepsi." Lucas asked. They'd been playing this game for twenty minutes Lucas said she had two seconds to answer. It seemed pretty pointless but played along, and the questions were easy. Although they'd been coming thick and fat for a while now._

"_Coke."_

"_Chocolate or chips."_

"_Chocolate."_

"_Costello or Presley/"_

"_Costello." She didn't know why he bothered asking. She loved Elvis Costello not even the King could beat him._

"_Cats or dogs."_

"_Cats."_

"_Tim Smith or Brad Pitt."_

"_Tim Smith." She covered her mouth in horror, and Lucas smiled triumphantly._

"_Got you."_

"_You tricked me. That's…" She couldn't think of the word so she slapped him as she stood up. It was dark outside and they had spent the evening at his place._

"_I should have videoed it. Tim will be delighted."_

"_The worrying thing is he won't be surprised."_

"_Anyway I better get home." She glanced at her watch. "Dude its 3 a.m. What did you put in that hot chocolate? I am no where near ready for sleep."_

"_It's the Roe recipe or Scott syrup. What do you think sounds better?" They walked back into his kitchen. They were both home alone for the summer, and Lucas cooked for them most nights as Peyton was a disaster in the kitchen. They'd settled into a routine and spent all there time together. She hadn't been like this with anyone since she and Brooke wee twelve. _

"_You're such a dork. But for the record Peyton's Punch."_

"_And you're a loser. Seriously Peyton's Punch?" She slapped him again._

"_I take it back, it's a winner. The punch that is."_

"_Ha Ha" She dead panned. She picked up the car keys._

"_Hey, why don't you stay tonight? I don't want to think about you driving this late."_

"_That's sweet but I'll be fine."_

"_I know it's the poor guy walking home I worry about." Peyton instantly remembered the night she'd first really seen Lucas. She was lost in the memory when he snatched the keys from her._

"_You should have been looking." She said defending her driving skills._

"_So should you." He countered._

"_Fair point."_

"_Fair point? You could have killed me."_

"_I know but you were cute so I let you live." _

"_And look at us now." At his innocent words She looked at them arguing in his kitchen like a married couple. He obviously had the same thoughts because he tensed up and a silence set in. She swallowed down the lump in her throat. It was totally innocent but she couldn't help but feel guilty. Like they were somehow cheating all over again._

"_I should go." She said half heartedly, she hated being home alone given the arrival of Ellie. She knew that wasn't the only reason. She'd grown used to having Lucas around. Having someone felt good. The only person she ever spent days like this with was Brooke and even then no one took care of her the way Lucas did._

"_No, stay. I worry." She didn't take much convincing after that and she spent the first of many nights. _

_It was purely platonic but she was pretty sure she fell in love with Lucas that summer. The way he cooked her breakfast, ironed her pyjamas and most of all gave her a sence of family. She'd been over for about a week when he gave her a cup, insisting now that she was family she had to have one. He pointed to the collection. She could see Mom, Keith, Lucas and felt privileged when she saw hers. All the others were blue's pinks and yellows. She scowled as he handed her the black mug with red lettering._

"_What? I didn't think you were a pink and yellow kind of girl."_

"_Hmm."_

"_I figured since this is basically __your home now, wifey." They clicked mugs._

"_Whatever, you're taking my name, Tom Sawyer."_

Peyton was startled when Lucas snuck up behind her. She placed the cup down on the counter inhaling deeply before turning and smiling up at him.

"You kept it." She whispered, looking around to see if there were any other ones. She could only see 5 hung on the rack as they always were. Lily's was pink and yellow.

"Of course. " Lucas said wrapping his arms around her gently. "We'll have to get one for Anna."

"She doesn't-"

"She still needs one. It's tradition." He kissed the top of her head.

"I guess."

"Welcome home Peyton Sawyer."


End file.
